12.12.2005

The Friendship Test

I hate the process of making friends because I can't really be myself until the more presentable version of me has been accepted. The presentable me is reserved, polite and well coiffed. She tries not to swear and she listens well. You can dress her up and take her out, but why anyone would want to is beyond me. In other words, this presentable me lacks luster. I'm not saying that the real me is supremely incandescent or anything, but I don't think anyone in my established friendship base would say that I fade into the woodwork.

This vetting period of friendship is such that I cannot, as dictated by experience, spring my true self onto unsuspecting acquaintances. I'm not the type to hold anything back, in word or deed. I prefer to tell it like it is, but I know that not everybody is ready to hear it. Some people never will be, and with them I am stuck being my presentable self for the duration of our association. But occasionally some people come along, who, whether it takes minutes, weeks or months, make it clear that they are as crazy as I am. These people, though honest, aren't judgmental; though responsible, aren't uptight; though sympathetic, aren't sappy. And they're always funny, at least to me. So whether they are amused by me as well, or if they simply like having a captive audience, something clicks.

When I laugh so hard that my asthma acts up, I know I've found a friend.

2 Comments:

Blogger Spencer said...

This one resonated with me! I definitely know what you mean...but don't you sometimes want to say "to hell with the presentable me...if they don't like the crazy me, screw 'em!" ?

10:18 PM  
Blogger Jene said...

hmm, i'm still trying to remember when i've seen the "presentable version" of you to which you refer... just kidding! :)

11:58 AM  

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