4.07.2006

Remind Me To Tell You The One About Being Emancipated

One day at my parents' we were sitting around the table, shooting the proverbial shit. Somehow Katie Couric's name popped up in conversation.

"I didn't know she wasn't married," my mother said.

"Where have you be-en, moth-er?" I demanded with the same syllabically-elongated hauteur I have exhibited in conversations with her since I turned eleven. "Her husband died, like, years ago. I think it was prostate cancer."

"Oh, yes, now that you say it." My mother nodded deliberately, as if fighting against demented brake pads to stir the wheels of memory into action. "I think that was it. Prostrate cancer."

"Oh my Go-od, mom." I'm not making this up. "It's not PROSTRATE cancer! It's prostate! Pros-TATE!" I was getting worked up. I looked with wild eyes to my husband, my brother, my father. I even looked to my sister, who is an idiot.

Then my other half, with a sense of diplomacy that has made him a beloved son-in-law against incredible odds, looked up from the coffee cup he was so carefully examining.

"Well, he probably laid down and died."

5 Comments:

Blogger T. said...

LOL! I think I love your husband! The eery thing is, this conversation could have been with my family, it sounds so similar. Right down to the idiotic sister!

Thanks for the chuckle!

7:37 PM  
Blogger Spencer said...

The funniest part about "shooting the shit" is that he actually died of colon cancer (hence Katie's crusade to get everyone to have a colonoscopy).

But that fact aside, I'm always amused by the "prostrate" thing. There's no beating it out of people, and I've tried :-)

1:51 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh man, he's a quick one that man of yours. He'd be right at home around our dinner table, that's for sure!

2:06 AM  
Blogger lynsalyns said...

I second Spencer .. the saddest part of the whole conversation is that it wasn't even the prostate.

Thanks for blogrolling me! :)

8:59 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

hahahaha - I love your husband's come back.
My husband insists on using the term "pediophile" when he means pedophile. And he had his "prostrate" checked recently.

I give up.

4:34 PM  

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