4.20.2006

So There

In the cyber version of an elementary school playground, there exists the Meme. Like intellectual (or not so much) Tag-You're-It, bloggers run around the 'sphere, poking, prodding, or ripping inseams as they tackle the next person to respond to the meme du jour. What's the meme du jour? It's the meme of the day.

So if a meme is like tag, then I must be the pig-tailed girl standing alone next to the swingset with buck teeth and Coke bottle eyeglasses.

And cooties. In a year when not enough cootie shots were manufactured due to unhygienic factory conditions.

Anyway, as I sit here untagged by the "Six Interesting Facts You Didn't Know About Me" meme that is now pretty much played out, I am reminded of first grade at the Catholic school I attended. First grade was bullshit, excreted daily by Mrs. St. John. It was at her hands that I was implicated in a love letter plot that brought down several of my female classmates as we composed phonetic odes to the sexiest third grader in a tri-parish radius. With the salacious letters confiscated and justice meted out, none of us lovelorn ladies got a foil star on the class chart that week.

Back to this not-being-tagged thing. What should I expect with a name like Binky? Imagine a girl on the playground named Binky, with glasses as thick as they were wide, a gold monogrammed "B" stuck to the bottom of one lens. Then, fast forward to eighth grade, when that same girl ran for class president on the "Don't Clown Around, Vote for Binky" ticket. The girl who regularly wore sneakers on gym day, regardless of what she was sporting on the rest of her misguided frame, just so she wouldn't have to haul around extra footgear in her backpack. I can still picture the tan hide of my suede skirt and the blue and white Adidases that went with it. And then there were my university years, where I pressed on in dorklitude by getting my hair hacked off (not once, but twice--stupid, stupid, stupid!) in an all-women's-college kind of cut that my husband, who became acquainted with me during the first of these unfortunate phases, remembers as "kind of, well...how do I say this...spiky."

There's not much to do but embrace my inner freak. I'll sum it all up with the fact that, several years ago, I hauled my singular unhipness onto Metro North and rode it into midtown Manhattan where I waited in line for 3 hours to get my right buttcheek autographed by Violent J of the Insane Clown Posse.

So, you see, my dorky self is no stranger to unrequited games of tag. I've developed a thick skin, like suede over tennis shoes. But I've got pride, too. If I was asked tomorrow to meme about "Six Interesting Facts You Didn't Know About Me," I wouldn't even respond.

It's the principle of the thing.

10 Comments:

Blogger lynsalyns said...

BINKY! I planned to tag you all along! I didn't tag anyone yet and I have to! I'm tagging you and my sister, but I don't think I know enough other bloggies to tag six. Please play?? Pleeeaaassseee? I didn't have a chance to do my tagging yet.

Oh I knew in my heart I was a bad person. Please play! :)

4:23 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Dude, I totally would tag you. In fact you're tagged because I tagged a friend who never responded, so fuck her. she's out. I'm replacing her name with yours right now. not kidding. go on my blog and check. it's the post called guess what these things have in common (or something like that)

8:45 PM  
Blogger Binky said...

Oh crap. I'm all embarrassed now because I was trying to pull of this ironic twist wherein I blog about not being tagged, yet I sneak in 6 "interesting" facts about myself anyway. Oh, it was so clever in concept! Maybe I should have numbered them. Maybe I should have made them more interesting. Or maybe I should have titled it "Nobody Tagged Me, But I'm Gonna Do This Damn Meme Anyway!"

But thank you for reaching out to the four eyed girl loitering by the swingset ;)

9:45 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

Binky- don't feel bad! I didnt get tagged either! The same day I posted about two kind bloggers sent emails saying they meant to tag me. mmmm hmmmmm. Do what I did-tell us 6 things about yourself anyway!

9:17 AM  
Blogger Michele said...

Hi, I am Michele, the girl who also had thick glasses and a gold "M" on the lens. I further enhanced this fashion statement with a very frizzy perm. I was a looker, I tell 'ya.
I didnt tag anyone because I figured I was one of the last ones to get picked for the volleyball team AGAIN when I got tagged.
I got what you were doing though. See, that gold intial on our lenses gave us extra insight.
By the way, half of my gold "M" fell off one day at school and no one told me. They just called me "Half-ass".

10:32 AM  
Anonymous Kevin said...

You're conversations put me to sleep. Contrary to the general consensus on this blog, there is life without kids, and in fact, it is a better life.


www.FatNeckTees.com

3:38 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Don't feel bad... i wasn't tagged either, didn't even know about it until I just read your post! I was also the thick glasses girl in elementary...

2:53 PM  
Blogger macboudica said...

I was a total dork all through school, too. My mom made me wera all my grandma's hand-me-downs (cuz' she didn't want to wear them!), I was little and picked last for all sports, and I was painfully shy. My mom gave me soup-bowl haircuts. And now I am only thirty and I have bi-focals. So I say being a freak is cool!

10:08 AM  
Blogger T. said...

I totally would have tagged you. And love the fact that you went ahead and snuck in the facts while complaining that no one tagged you.

You clever chicky you!

11:31 AM  
Blogger kidslovecandy said...

I got it in the last couple of lines. The humor was not lost on me, Mama. I agree, very clever concept.

9:57 PM  

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