5.11.2006

The Bitter, Bitter Irony

Maybe I have too much testosterone.

Exhibit A: Excessive body hair
Exhibit B: The inability to multi-task
Exhibit C: The complete and total lack of any mechanisms to aid in the silent exit of gas from my body

In the past there would've been an Exhibit D with a "sex overdrive" designation, but I'm married now, and no longer is anything about my sex life notable. As someone with a likely overabudance of testosterone, this fact causes me endless grief. Though I would love to do something about the hum-druminess of it all, we all know it takes two to do the horizontal tango. And I think my other half has a metaphorical headache.

See, the dichotomy between my husband and I is much different than most other romantic relationships we encounter. This may or may not be true in the marriages you've studied, but it is clearly manifested in my casebook: the woman is the nag and the man is the lazy one. Or, if he's not lazy, he is at least perceived as such by his wife (to be fair, I should probably extend that line of thinking to state that sometimes the woman is perceived as being a nag even when she's not--but, let's face it, she usually is).

My parents certainly fit into that mold, and I spent the entire thinking part of my life trying not to turn into my mother. I was a walking, talking reactionary timebomb. I tick-tick-ticked my way through school in anticipation of graduation and my explosion into adulthood. I didn't want to live under a cloud of criticism, blame and restriction. I wanted to be respected for my opinions, or at least feel entitled to them. I wanted to be my own person instead of somebody's scapegoat. I wanted somewhere to go and a way to get there.

Maybe you can guess what happened.

I married my mother.

9 Comments:

Blogger lynsalyns said...

SO DID I!! AHH HAA HHAA HHAAA! I said that just today to my sister!

I think we were separated at birth. I also have a hair issue. Spent my babysitter time waxing fuzz from the face. Oy vey.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Mom101 said...

Oh so funny. I hope I didn't marry my mother. I think I married Nate's mother though, which is a little scary. (And I use marry loosely since we're not really, um, married)

10:00 AM  
Blogger Jene said...

try this

http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=105370

11:31 AM  
Blogger Jene said...

I don't know how I feel about this...

You scored as Either.

You brain is neither specifically male nor female dominated in the way you perceive things and as bad as this sounds it can easily mean that you are capable of combining both limiting gender aspects to your advantage. Rather than being genderless you are possibly able think freely. This does not nec. mean that you are bisexual or androgynous or indecisive, though it might.

Either
61%

Neither
50%

Female
46%

Male
43%

11:34 AM  
Blogger Andrea said...

I'm with Mom-101. He's become HIS mother, but I love that. Our roles are opposite of the norm. He cleans and cooks (knew I married a certified chef for a reason!) and does the general upkeep of the house, and I make the house run smoothly, buying our supplies, doing laundry, running the day to day operations like baths and book reading to the child and grocery shopping and any writing duties that come up. Well, I should say we both cook, but his is the only real cooking. Mine just doesn't taste as good. But he is the hairy and gassy one of the two of us.

1:53 PM  
Blogger Binky said...

Jene, I'm an "either," too

"You scored as Either.

50%
Male

43%
Neither

29%
Female

21%"

8:00 PM  
Anonymous lildb said...

mmm - you too? makes for some *int-eresting* issues regarding the ole sex life, non?

now I have to go ponder this one for a few years (why would I marry her? why not my father? why not NEITHER OF THEM?)...

argh.

12:04 AM  
Anonymous lildb said...

mmm - you too? makes for some *int-eresting* issues regarding the ole sex life, non?

now I have to go ponder this one for a few years (why would I marry her? why not my father? why not NEITHER OF THEM?)...

argh.

12:04 AM  
Anonymous lildb said...

wtf? that's two double-post comments in a row for me in the last few minutes. I apologize profusely for taking up all the real estate.

12:06 AM  

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