5.02.2006

Update on the Job Interview

It was several weeks ago that I blogged about my interview for a part time writing position at a local university. This follow-up post is a bit on the belated side, considering that I contacted my potential employer the very next day to ask him to withdraw my name from consideration.

I thought I wanted to go back to work, but until the possibility became real, I didn't think about it very hard. The cursory concept of writing and making money over the course of a 19-hour work week seemed ideal. I'd pull in just enough cash to at least psychologically ease my husband's bacon-bringing burden. I'd be writing instead of perfecting the art of literary procrastination. And this new schedule would only take up about 2 and a half day's worth of my time.

Except that it's not my time. It's Tolby's time, too. And it is so fleeting and amorphous that to miss any of it, or to put it on a schedule, sticks me right in the subconscious part of my being that actually knows what's going on. See, it was never rationally apparent to me that "staying home" with my daughter was the best thing to do. It still isn't, necessarily. But there's that voice, deep and ingrained, telling a different story.

I usually don't do my best thinking consciously. And I NEVER write that way. My best ideas and my truest held beliefs have always been layered in such a way that requires digging to reach. I can't speak eloquently off-the-cuff. I can't assess a situation with one glance and know what to do. But when I sit down with a pen or a keyboard, and with time, I can knock out a pretty good strategy.

The plan this time is to believe in myself and my family. I'm lucky that they believe in me. You see, there was never any question that something needs to be done about our miserable financial state. I am grateful for my husband's contributions, which were significantly greater than mine even when I was working full-time, but the fact remains that one income is not enough. Fortunately, I am blessed with a portable talent. I can do it here or there, I can do it anywhere! I don't need an office job. I want to write for a living. And I know I can. I think my husband is even more sure of it than I am. It's just a matter of mining those same recesses from which I pull my inspiration as I endeavor to dredge up the determination and single-mindedness necessary to be successful as a freelancer.

I've been in contact with a professional acquaintance who emailed me the other day with this message: "I would like to offer you the opportunity to be the writer for the lead book in the new venture we're planning, and we would like to spell in out in detail the concept we are working on to see if it's something you are interested in."

Doors opening, doors closing. My husband, daughter and I are walking through the thresholds together.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Motherhooduncensored said...

I think you are top notch - and I can't wait to hear about your new venture. I think it's hard to weigh time with your child and work - particularly if the personal/professional/monetary satisfaction are not there.

2:48 PM  
Anonymous Roxie Carol (the dog) said...

What about me? Don't I get to come for a walk too? I hope you're not planning on leaving me home like you always do when you go somewhere fun?

2:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, that's great, until your daughter decides that she would rather have new clothes that you can't afford than spend time with you. Don't you watch The War at Home. :)

4:15 PM  
Blogger Binky said...

Hopefully by the time that happens she'll be in school, at which point I'll be back in the office if freelancing won't adequately finance her wardrobe :)

6:46 PM  
Blogger lynsalyns said...

Perfect! I'm jealous. My hub told me two years ago when I was childless and miserable to quit my hack job and write, he'd pay the bills. Your husband's belief in you is wonderful. Take it into your heart. I'll read your book!

9:05 PM  
Blogger Karen said...

Hmmm, I was going to ask if you'd met my sister, but there she is, sitting right above this comment. I quit my job 5 years ago, just before getting pregnant with my daughter. My gifts led me home in a literal and proverbial sense: home with my kids, and in charge of my own talents. I appreciate being allowed to observe your journey.

9:52 PM  
Blogger Michele said...

It is wonderful that you have a talent that makes you so flexible. I am a firm believer in following your heart and gut. Good luck in your new venture.

9:45 AM  

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